ARE YOU ASSERTIVE..................

ARE YOU………………

Read the following statements and think ………………

  1. You say ‘Yes’ to requests of others when you really want to say ‘No’.

  2.  It is ‘hard’ for you to ‘decide.’

  3.  It is ‘difficult’ for you to ‘express your feelings’ especially your discontentment with a friend or family member.

4.  You find it ‘hard’ to ‘express opinions’ that are different from other people’s opinions.

5.  You are ‘unable to share’ something ‘positive about yourself.’

6.  It is ‘difficult’ for you to ‘ask for help.’

7.  You ‘do not speak up’ in a group.

8.  You find it ‘difficult’ to ‘accept a compliment.’

 

If you say ‘yes’ on any of these statements then you are a passive person. In other words, you are not ‘assertive’.

Being assertive means a person-

Has the ability to speak up for self without violating the rights of others.

-He/she directly and honestly expresses his/her feelings opinions and does not blame or accuse others.

-He/she takes responsibility for his/her thoughts, feelings and actions and does not hold others’ responsible for them.

Does being assertive sounds like being aggressive?

If you say yes. then you are not alone. There are thousands of people who think in the same way.

But the two are very different from each other.

Though being aggressive also means having the ability to speak  up for oneself yet it is very different.  When one is aggressive, one violates the rights of others. One lets-down, humiliates, blames and accuses others. In other words one shifts the responsibility of one’s own thoughts, feelings and actions on others.

An aggressive person makes all the decisions and assumes that others have no rights to make a decision or choice. 

He/she is obsessed with power and control.  

An assertive person values and respects his/her rights and the rights of others-

-      The right to make decisions.

-      The right to have opinions.

-      The right to make choices.

-      The right to have different needs, aspirations and goals.

-      The right to be human and to make mistakes.  

-      And last but not the least, the right to have others respect ‘my’ human rights. 

It is very important to know that assertiveness is a skill and anyone can learn to be assertive !!!