CONNECTING WITH YOUR ADOLESCENT !!

Let us discuss some of the ways parents can connect with their adolescents and learn to deal with the issues together.

Adolescence stage is a very crucial stage both for the youth and for the parents. In this crucial stage it is very important to keep the channels of communication open. 

Since the youth are already struggling with so many things, like creating their own identity, becoming independent, thinking about the future, working towards academic goals, developing new skills, pursuing new interests,  expanding their social circle, facing new challenges, celebrating their achievements, dealing with setbacks and failures  etc.etc. The list is very long.

So it comes to parents to find out ways to stay connected with their adolescents and help them in their journey to adulthood.

Here are some of the suggestions:

1.       Join them in their pursuit of developing new interest/s: It may be possible that your adolescents develop liking for something which is new for you or may be very different from your own interests. So what can you do in this situation? The best thing you can do is to join them. Spend time with them and learn and understand their interests. Let them be your teacher. Help them and guide them to get more detailed information and if possible training in the field.

2.       Dream sharing: Talk to them about your interests when you were of their age. This will help your youth to open up and discuss about their interests and aspirations. This will also give them opportunity to learn about other options.

3.       Following family rituals: Rituals create a system and bonding in the family. Rituals are something that the family does together. Celebrating birthdays, anniversaries and festivals together are some of the common rituals. Each family can create its own ritual to connect. A family can decide to pray together in the morning, or having breakfast or dinner together, greeting each other when leaving for the day or coming back home. So this could be anything. The sole purpose is to connect with each other every day.

4.       Welcome young guests: At this stage adolescents expand their social circle. The circle mostly includes friends who share their interests, values and thoughts. Welcome your child’s friends at home as you welcome your own. Let them enjoy and do activities together. Their presence and their way of interaction with each other will let you know whom and how your child is socializing.

5.       Be available: Talk to your adolescents when they come to you to discuss something.  When you give them undivided attention then they develop the trust that they can reach out to you for support anytime for anything.

6.       Be an active listener: Pay undivided attention to your adolescent when they are talking to you. Be empathetic and supportive. Give them emotional support.Help them weigh their choices and evaluate their decisions. Help them resolve their issues.

7.       Help them develop adult connections/friendships: In the growing stage, adolescents look outside their immediate family for support. Help your adolescents to develop a strong bonding with an adult on whom they can depend . This could be an adult from the extended family, a teacher, a coach or a family friend. 

8.       Have fun together: Do something which you all enjoy together. May be a family outing, or playing outdoor or indoor games together. Involve your adolescents in the planning and execution.  

9.       Don’t forget to appreciate them: Your adolescents are trying new things and developing new skills. They must be making mistakes and they may fail in their ventures also. They must be showing emotional outbursts and disagreement. But they must have been doing a lot which is appreciable. So don’t miss the chance to bless them, give them a hug and show your affection and appreciation. Do celebrate their wins!!

There are many other ways parents have adopted to connect with their adolescents over the years.

Let me know how you do it !!