COMMUNICATION ERROR..........

'Blame'

Blaming is a very common communication error. We all blame and get blamed for what we have said or done.

Blaming ourselves or blaming others may help to reduce mental pressure right away but after some time the pressure will rebuild. 

Here are some of the disadvantages of blaming.

1. Blaming does not change anything. It does not change us, does not change the other person, and does not change the situation.

2. We may get trapped in our own anger. Anger blocks our rational thinking and we may remain stuck in the past.

3. Constant hostility may affect out mental and physical health.

4. We may start considering ourselves as victims and may start feeling helpless and hopeless.

5. We may lose the trust and confidence to make decisions (self blame) or the confidence and trust in the decisions of others (blaming others).

6. Constant complaining and resentment interferes with our ability to maintain and grow our relationships.

7. Blaming prevents us from analyzing the situation and assessing what could have been done differently to prevent it. We are not able to learn from our experience.

8. Due to the fear of making the same mistake again, we may stop taking risks like trying to do new things, meeting new people, developing new friendships, exploring ourselves.

9. Blaming also stops us to understand the perspective of others and to reconnect with them.

I am sure there can be more disadvantages of blaming that anyone can narrate from one’s experience.

Blaming may have its own benefits. Without any benefit why would anyone blame?

Let us find it out-

When we blame we actually put the responsibility on someone else for the situation. 

The advantage is, we don’t have to work on ourselves to change and we can remain the same as we are now for days, months and years to come.

When we blame ourselves then we can refuse to take any responsibility in future and thus we need not make any effort or change ourselves.

Blaming make us feel like a victim. To deal with these feelings we can take revenge or can self-soothe by overeating, drinking or using drugs and we don’t have to feel guilty or ashamed for our behaviour.

Blaming also gives justification for our emotional outbursts and hostility and may easily win the sympathy of others.

We can gossip, say nasty things and feel powerful and in control.

In short as a victim of circumstances or other people, whenever we want to feel good about ourselves we can gossip, criticize, take advantage of others, show emotional outbursts, overeat, drink and use drugs without feeling guilty at all.

We don’t have to make any efforts to change ourselves or the situation, don’t have to take any responsibility, and don’t have to take any risks.

Life becomes very predictable and we can feel very safe.

Now--

Are these really advantages? what are your thoughts?