COUPLE THERAPY- Emotionally Focused

It’s one of the first brief couple therapies that uses emotion and attachment to understand and to deal with the couple’s problems. EFT considers “Emotions as the Music of a Couple’s Dance.”

EFT assumes that relationship problems are perpetuated by rigid negative interaction patterns that reflect emotional states of fear and anger. The negative interaction patterns contain maladaptive behaviors that are attachment insecurities resulting in separation distress. EFT explains that affect and interaction form a reciprocally determining and self-reinforcing feedback loop.

A healthy close relationship is defined in terms of secure attachment bond. Distress in relationship is related to attachment insecurity. Insecurely attached individuals either heightened expression of anger and distress and aggressively demand reassurance or they disengage and minimize expression of distress. Relationships-distress perspective of EFT is well authenticated by research.

The main goal of EFT is to reprocess experience and recognize interactions in order to create new cycles of secure bonding that will increase partners’ ability to regulate emotions.

To bring this change, EFT therapist performs some main tasks that culminate in creating a safe and collaborative alliance. By assessing and expanding the emotional responses, the therapist guide the couple’s interactions in the direction of mutual accessibility and responsiveness.

Several steps are involved in this therapy. In EFT building of therapeutic alliance and assessment go hand in hand. By showing empathy and genuineness, the therapist actively intervenes in the interactional process of the couple. As a result a de-escalation process begins. For example, the demanding and blaming partner becomes less reactive while the passive partner becomes more engaged.

In the next stage, there occurs an interactional position shift and new bonding event occurs. The withdrawn passive partner starts taking risk of expression of wants and needs, becoming more emotionally involved. Throughout the process, EFT uses reflection and validation.

At the third stage, the therapist’s goal is consolidation and integration of the changes into everyday life of the couple. This is done by the replays and feedback that slow down the process. The partners ultimately develop more positive perception of each other.